I AM REPUBLICAN
I stand for white Americans, yet, with false promises, I woo every minority group in the country.
I stand for big corporations and huge corporate profits; oppose tax breaks for Middle America and support two-thirds of U.S. companies and Exxon Mobile not paying income taxes.
I stand for big oil companies giving them massive tax credits and fighting regulation to protect America’s environment, while allowing them to write America’s Energy Policy.
I stand for big health insurance companies and the deaths of 45,000 Americans each year by opposing health care reform, lying about death panels and ensuring health care is only for America’s wealthy and Congress.I oppose Americans’ right to purchase prescription drugs overseas as they should pay 4 times the price to U.S. pharmaceutical companies.
I stand for shipping American jobs overseas, giving tax breaks to Corporations who move their headquarters to foreign countries in order to avoid paying taxes and fighting legislation to create jobs in America.
I stand against Labor Unions and support keeping minimum wages low so Corporate CEOs can massively increase their incomes on the backs of Middle America and donate to Republicans.
I stand up for Wall Street Banks and actively solicit political donations from financial institutions who gamble with Americans’ money while opposing regulation to protect the investments of U.S. Citizens.
I oppose prosecuting businesses who hire illegal immigrants but support racial profiling of all Americans with dark skin.
I support the Declaration of Independence except “that all men are created equal”, as this only applies to white Republicans.
I support only the 2nd and 10th Amendments of the Bill of Rights and believe the Christian religion should apply to all Americans; I choose to ignore that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion”.
I set record Pork Barrel spending and passing on the debt of war for profit to future generations.
I believe in spending America into debt and support every GOP spending bill without the means to pay for the expense as 82% of national debt was created by me.
I support the growth of government, yet oppose it under Democratic leadership.
I support taking away Americans’ right to privacy, tapping their phones, reading their email, accessing their bank records and reading their mail.
I support treating all corporations housed in the U.S. as individuals, with the same rights and privileges, to ensure elections can continue to be funded and bought against the will of the people.
I support turning budget surpluses into budget deficits, borrowing more money from China while blaming others for my own actions and that deficits do not matter.
I believe in giving trillion dollar tax cuts to the rich to widen the income gap for hardworking Americans.
I support America failing and the economy failing as long as another Party is in power.
I support the philosophy of greed, power, corruption, marriage infidelity and calling anyone who does not agree with me a Nazi, Communist, anti-American and a Socialist.
I support eliminating Medicare and Social Security for America’s senior citizens.
I support BP’s right to pollute the Gulf of Mexico and oppose helping Coastal residents and the government’s effort to make deep water drilling safe.
I oppose protecting American soldiers with body armor and armored humvees, and making health care accessible for soldiers and veterans.
I support torture in violation of international treaties and humanity even though it puts America’s soldiers in harm’s way.
I oppose fair pay for women and believe men are superior and have the right to control women’s bodies.
I oppose civil rights in America.
I do not know how to govern so I use fear mongering, scare tactics and inciting violence to manipulate Americans rather than having viable solutions for America’s problems.
I am a conservative and believe in conserving corporate and political power over the needs of taxpaying Americans.
I am a Christian in name only, a member of the religious right but do not subscribe to the principles of the Bible, I make my own rules.
I Am A Republican! I go by many names: The Party of No, The Party of Obstructionism, Boehner, Limbaugh, McConnell, Vitter, McCain, Cantor, Bachmann, Roberts, Inhofe, Sessions, Palin, Ensign, Sanford, Perry, Giuliani, Paul, Huckabee, Barton, Hutchison, Kyl, Gohmert, Jindal, and Cornyn to name a few.
When Americans vote Republican, America steps back to a time of personal poverty and witnesses the demise of support for hard working families, senior citizens, and children.
I am a Republican!
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This is the best Article I have ever read that precisely and correctly describes the Republican Party. Thank you so much for expressing that which I feel and cannot adquately express.
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Gordy Reply:
July 31st, 2010 at 10:02 pm
I wish someone could write down what spiders are like because I detest them. I just have a hard time explaining why.
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Unfortunately you can say I am a Democrat and recite the same litany. There really isn’t that much difference in the two partys.
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Natalie Reply:
July 31st, 2010 at 8:31 pm
I agree with Linda…it is sad but it isn’t just a Republican problem anymore….It is an American problem now…and we are losing…
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This is the best blog I have read in a year. Send this to the Democratic Party to remind them what a Republican looks like.
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Yeah, everybody who says there’s not a dime’s worth of difference is right! Why that Dennis Kucinich is no better than Eric Cantor.
And what about Alan Grayson? He any different than Texas Rep Joe “Sorry, BP” Barton? No!!!
And Russ Feingold?! Why the US Senate will work a lot more smoothly without that anti-union, war-mongering s.o.b. in there!!!
So any of you folks who think there’s not a dime’s worth of difference and plan on setting this one out, or voting Green or Republican to teach the Dems a lesson, please do me a small favor. When the Republicans/Tea Party is running things and it get even shittier than it is now, I don’t want to hear a peep outta ya!!! No bitching! You got want you wanted.
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“Yeah, everybody who says there’s not a dime’s worth of difference is right! Why that Dennis Kucinich is no better than Eric Cantor.”
Are you referring to the very same Dennis Kucinich that the Democratic Party campaigned to have removed by primary election for failing to support a watered-down healthcare reform bill?
You’re right. If we compare a fringe, powerless Democratic legislator with a manistream Republican legislator, it almost seems as though the Democratic Party is going to get things done. I only wish that weren’t such a spiteful, willfully dishonest comparison!
“When the Republicans/Tea Party is running things and it get even shittier than it is now, I don’t want to hear a peep outta ya!!! No bitching! You got want you wanted.”
You know what’s interesting about the Democratic Party? They have a stunning ability to recognize how important the left is to their success and insult them in the same breath. Meanwhile, the Republican party is in a position to take over because it has moved to appease and motivate the far right. If you want our votes, fulfill your campaign promises. It’s that simple.
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ET Spoon,
Well said. I’m sick of these naive “mavericks” who think there’s no appreciable difference between the parties.
That’s smart-ass pseudo-intellectual crap.
Will they shut up if a new Republican majority starts shutting down the government and rounding up dissenters?
I hope not.
Poor Richard’s Almanack 2010
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Definitely an American problem, but I cannot believe people really think there is no difference in the parties.
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There is some difference, unequivocally. However (and it is a very big however), the people in charge of the Dems are indistinguishable from most Rs (except for the really crazy Tea Party people.
The economic policies of Obama (and his administration) are totally those of the banks, insurance companies, the death merchants of the MIC, Big Pharma, the mining and oil companies, etc.
The foreign policy of the Ds is the same as the Rs: perpetual war for the benefit of the death merchants.
The civil rights policies of the Ds: Guantanamo, no habeas corpus, no prosecution of war criminals, continued persecution of LGBT people, the worst attack on women’s right to choose since before Roe (through the health “reform” bill).
And don’t forget that Obama got Kucinich to fold on health care (and I certainly wish I knew how). Grayson is great on almost everything but is a complete Zionist puppet on Israel (as is Anthony Weiner).
Still, I will be voting for my congressman (Wu) and my senator (Wyden) because they are mostly good. Wyden voted against the bailout, for instance.
I would not vote for any of the Blue Dogs or for someone like Max Baucus or Ben Nelson merely because they are Dems, however. Those SOBs are no different than Rs.
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